a butterfly on the bristles
of my toothbrush
I brush anyway
Wednesday, August 1, 2012
Wednesday, October 20, 2010
Monday, July 5, 2010
The Piano Lesson
At the piano lesson, the teacher was very focused on my playing. It was a majestic looking house with oak interior walls, marble floors, and gold trim. For a beginner, it seemed odd to be playing a grand piano that was probably worth a fortune. The teacher said to me, as he was leaving the room, "if you're good, the birds will come to the window." At this time, I had no faith in my playing ability, but I pounded the keys anyway. To my surprise, I played skillfully, without force, times of past glory swirling. Looking down at my hands, I felt like something was taking them over for the weight was unlike my own. Birds tapped their beaks at the window, and I started to feel vindicated. I lifted my hands from the keys and turned my head to the mirror. It wasn't my face in the reflection.
Sunday, November 29, 2009
Fashion
A man walks into a men's clothing store.
Salesman: Hello sir, looking for anything particular today?
Man: Really just lookin to see what is me, you know.
Salesman: Well, then may I suggest this suit? (takes a black suit from the rack) It's comfortable, but, as you can see, still formal. It's for the man who is trying to exude a casual demeanor while at the same time maintaining professionalism.
Man(a slight grimace): Not sure about that one.
Salesman (puts the suit back): Ok, another approach. (Grabs anothers suit) Maybe you're a man who is lacking confidence, like you don't measure up to others. Maybe you're suffering from a bad inferiority complex and feel like every move you make is worthless. Am I right?
Man looks around nervously.
Salesman: Well, this suit hides that shit! We call it the Iron Man suit. It's guaranteed to lock in the inner despair. Very comfortable too.
Man spots a suit covered in different colors of paint and dried debris.
Man: What about that one?
Salesman (walks to the filthy suit): This suit is for the man who WANTS people to know that he's a big fuckin mess inside, but he can't say anything. As you can see, it is covered in different colors of paint with dried dirt and bits of trash. I believe somebody actually urinated on it at one time. Great for formal occasions. This suit screams, "Please help me, I'm in a pit of hell!".
Man: Does it come in a bigger size?
Salesman: Unfortunately, this is the only size we carry. (Pats man on the shoulder) Sorry about that, my friend.
Man (in a laugh): It's no big deal. I just liked the design, that's all.
Salesman: Hello sir, looking for anything particular today?
Man: Really just lookin to see what is me, you know.
Salesman: Well, then may I suggest this suit? (takes a black suit from the rack) It's comfortable, but, as you can see, still formal. It's for the man who is trying to exude a casual demeanor while at the same time maintaining professionalism.
Man(a slight grimace): Not sure about that one.
Salesman (puts the suit back): Ok, another approach. (Grabs anothers suit) Maybe you're a man who is lacking confidence, like you don't measure up to others. Maybe you're suffering from a bad inferiority complex and feel like every move you make is worthless. Am I right?
Man looks around nervously.
Salesman: Well, this suit hides that shit! We call it the Iron Man suit. It's guaranteed to lock in the inner despair. Very comfortable too.
Man spots a suit covered in different colors of paint and dried debris.
Man: What about that one?
Salesman (walks to the filthy suit): This suit is for the man who WANTS people to know that he's a big fuckin mess inside, but he can't say anything. As you can see, it is covered in different colors of paint with dried dirt and bits of trash. I believe somebody actually urinated on it at one time. Great for formal occasions. This suit screams, "Please help me, I'm in a pit of hell!".
Man: Does it come in a bigger size?
Salesman: Unfortunately, this is the only size we carry. (Pats man on the shoulder) Sorry about that, my friend.
Man (in a laugh): It's no big deal. I just liked the design, that's all.
Friday, November 6, 2009
Three Little Pigs
In a flat desolate land, there lived three little pigs, who were brothers. One day, the pigs decided to leave their Kansas home to make their own way in the world. Each one had jobs lined up. The first pig was a night shelves stocker for a grocery store and built a house of straw. The second pig was a teacher and built a house of sticks. The third pig was an investment banker and made his house of bricks. They settled into their new homes nicely, enjoying their new freedom and responsibility. That is, until a wolf discovered the first pig's house of straw. It had been quite some time since the wolf ate and the walls of his stomach twitched with hunger. He was unemployed.
"Little pig, little pig, let me in," he said.
"Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin," cried the pig.
So, the wolf took in a massive amount of air and exhaled with the force of a jet engine. The straw house blew away like tissue, leaving the pig exposed and vulnerable. He quickly ran to his brother's house of sticks.
The first pig's pride was injured at this misfortune and the ease with which his security had blown away in the wind. Naturally, this led to resentment towards his brother's condescending hospitality and wicked concern for his well being.
Meanwhile, the wolf found the house of sticks.
"Little pigs, little pigs, let me in!"
"Not by the hair of our chinny chin chins!" they cried.
So, the wolf huffed and puffed and blew the house of sticks down. Immediately, the startled pigs ran away to their brother's sturdier house of bricks. Their brother was not thrilled to see them looking for a place to live.
The wolf followed them to the house of bricks.
"Little pigs, little pigs, let me in!"
"Eat shit," replied the banker pig.
So, the wolf huffed and puffed, but when he blew out, nothing happened. He tried again and again until he fell to the ground in exhaustion.
The two little pigs were now safe with the banker pig, who could not hide his dismay at his brothers' presence.
"Is it my fault that you two are in this position?" he said. "You're adults, so why don't you take care of things properly?"
"Sorry, brother," said the teacher pig.
"Wipe your feet!" cried the banker pig to the stocker pig, who was lying on his brand new expensive sofa. "Do you have to dirty everything you touch? My god, you're like a kid."
The stocker pig walked out of the living room. He went to the front door and opened it.
"Hey wolf!" he cried. "Come on in!"
The wolf's eyes got big. He dropped the leaf he was chewing on and ran into the house. He first met the teacher pig and slaughtered him ruthlessly. Then, he set his sights on the banker pig, who fell back onto the new sofa. The wolf jumped on him and tore into his body with jagged yellow teeth. Blood splattered in several places on the sofa. The wolf then had his feast of the two pigs and his long suffering hunger was relieved.
He walked out of the house with a smile, wanting to thank the stocker pig who let him in. The stocker pig was sitting on a tree branch with a noose around his neck. He took the noose off and jumped down from the tree.
"What are you doing?" asked the wolf.
"I wanted to kill myself," he said somberly,"for what I did to my brothers because I can't live with the guilt. But I also don't want to die, so I couldn't go through with it. How selfish of me to want to live after what I have done? Wolf, you gotta help. Please kill me. The guilt is too much."
"Okay," said the wolf.
Then, the wolf lunged towards the pig, who suddenly picked up a rock and threw it, hitting the wolf in the head and killing him.
"Shit!" cried the pig.
"Little pig, little pig, let me in," he said.
"Not by the hair of my chinny chin chin," cried the pig.
So, the wolf took in a massive amount of air and exhaled with the force of a jet engine. The straw house blew away like tissue, leaving the pig exposed and vulnerable. He quickly ran to his brother's house of sticks.
The first pig's pride was injured at this misfortune and the ease with which his security had blown away in the wind. Naturally, this led to resentment towards his brother's condescending hospitality and wicked concern for his well being.
Meanwhile, the wolf found the house of sticks.
"Little pigs, little pigs, let me in!"
"Not by the hair of our chinny chin chins!" they cried.
So, the wolf huffed and puffed and blew the house of sticks down. Immediately, the startled pigs ran away to their brother's sturdier house of bricks. Their brother was not thrilled to see them looking for a place to live.
The wolf followed them to the house of bricks.
"Little pigs, little pigs, let me in!"
"Eat shit," replied the banker pig.
So, the wolf huffed and puffed, but when he blew out, nothing happened. He tried again and again until he fell to the ground in exhaustion.
The two little pigs were now safe with the banker pig, who could not hide his dismay at his brothers' presence.
"Is it my fault that you two are in this position?" he said. "You're adults, so why don't you take care of things properly?"
"Sorry, brother," said the teacher pig.
"Wipe your feet!" cried the banker pig to the stocker pig, who was lying on his brand new expensive sofa. "Do you have to dirty everything you touch? My god, you're like a kid."
The stocker pig walked out of the living room. He went to the front door and opened it.
"Hey wolf!" he cried. "Come on in!"
The wolf's eyes got big. He dropped the leaf he was chewing on and ran into the house. He first met the teacher pig and slaughtered him ruthlessly. Then, he set his sights on the banker pig, who fell back onto the new sofa. The wolf jumped on him and tore into his body with jagged yellow teeth. Blood splattered in several places on the sofa. The wolf then had his feast of the two pigs and his long suffering hunger was relieved.
He walked out of the house with a smile, wanting to thank the stocker pig who let him in. The stocker pig was sitting on a tree branch with a noose around his neck. He took the noose off and jumped down from the tree.
"What are you doing?" asked the wolf.
"I wanted to kill myself," he said somberly,"for what I did to my brothers because I can't live with the guilt. But I also don't want to die, so I couldn't go through with it. How selfish of me to want to live after what I have done? Wolf, you gotta help. Please kill me. The guilt is too much."
"Okay," said the wolf.
Then, the wolf lunged towards the pig, who suddenly picked up a rock and threw it, hitting the wolf in the head and killing him.
"Shit!" cried the pig.
Thursday, October 29, 2009
Home
They brought down the hammer and broke the chain that had been attached from the wall to his ankle for many years. However, he stayed in the same place. They showed him the broken chain, but he didn’t move. Showing him the open door to the jail cell didn’t help either. He remained there. They tried to push him free, but in the process he attacked his jailers. They could see in his eyes that he would not budge. When they exhausted all other options, they took a pistol and shot him in the head, but that didn't work either. Finally, they gave up and had his body carried out.
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